Week 211 motherhood – drinking water, first parent council meeting, first PA Day, Orange Shirt Day, day off, first Mandarin class, Toronto Zoo, meeting the new teacher

Cute person she drew on the sheet they got at Mandarin class

Week 211 motherhood with 4 year old and 21 month old. Word count: 5,100+.

September 26 to October 2, 2024:

September 26: I went along for the drop-off with the child and grandma today as I knew it was her teacher’s last day. I just wanted to see it for myself how the child would nod when her friend asked her questions and watch her wave to grandma while standing in line to walk into the classroom. She did these things. She also walked in so well herself with her backpack on her back willingly and her lunch bag around her neck. She is happy to attend school, it seems.
I brought the 21 month old to the EarlyON Orange Shirt Day truth and reconciliation event at Aanin community centre. The child actually fell asleep when we got there (as it’s about a 18 minute drive). Upon checking in, the admin person actually recognized me since I had just e-mailed her recently about not receiving the monthly program calendar. As it turns out, I also met the lady who did the Cantonese Triple P yesterday too. It was really nice to meet her and I complimented her in person on her session and the advice she gave us about refraining from asking the child if she ate at school all the time. I also took this chance to rant about her teacher as we all know it is very common for kids not to eat at school (and especially when they’re not comfortable yet). The facilitator is so fair in her approach (and professional) and said the teacher still has to point it out to us. (But unknown to her, she doesn’t realize how high strung and concerned the teacher made it sound like to us.)
Anyway, we got to the rest of the event area and the child pointed to the outdoor playground. I wanted her to play with at least some of the activity centres first. We went to the music one and I saw the facilitator who did the Triple P program with us. It was finally a nice chance to chat with her about the older child’s progress in kindergarten as I’m very sure she wanted to know about it. She was happy to hear that the child was doing well for the most part and told me to celebrate every win. I of course also told her that the teacher said she was concerned about the child not eating within the first couple of days of school and she said it’s so normal as her own son comes home from school with an untouched lunchbox too. I am so glad I have these resources and voices around me. Time and time again, I know that the child’s teacher is overly anxious and incorrect in labelling her as having an issue or concern. I just can’t help but rant about it when I can because it has really been troubling me the past couple of weeks.
The 21 month old listened to a few songs that were sung. And then she pointed to the playground again. And that’s where we played for the majority of the time. She was very happy to go on the swings, the balance board area where she walked up and down it multiple times, going on the bouncy rides, and then having a snack in between. I love how she is so easy-going and easy to manage. She sits well by herself on the park bench to eat. She knows to clean her hands with a wet napkin after eating and doesn’t refuse.
Before we left, we ended with the Indigenous good-bye song and doing it in four directions. This year, they didn’t invite the Elder to speak. I remember last year was a nice event too. Too bad the child didn’t want to participate in more of the actual centres, but I can’t force her and she had a great time at the playground anyway.
We then washed our hands inside and sat inside the community centre where she ate a bit more snacks. She kept pointing at the older high school kids who were also sitting on the stairs and eating just like us. Then when we got into the car to go home, she passed out quickly thereafter.
I love taking her to somewhere in the mornings because it means it will tire her out so that she can sleep 1 to 2 hours in the afternoon. This gives me time to eat lunch and take a break before 3 p.m. rolls around and we have to pick up the older child from school.
At pickup today, DH and I went (because we wanted to see what the teacher would say about her leaving) but to our surprise, she didn’t say anything. It was a normal pickup routine. She did quickly tell us that she saw the child drinking water today. She didn’t even tell it to us in a way that sounded like it was a celebration (because it really is). She said it along the lines of, “She was drinking her water today. I don’t even know when it happened but just saw that she had her bottle in her mouth.” Such a nonchalant remark. If I was the teacher and wanting to celebrate her every win, I would have said, “Good news today. She drank from her water bottle for the first time! It’s a step in the right direction and we’ll keep working on it.” There was no excitement or positivity in her voice.
See? We knew that this child will improve. She just needed time.
She will eventually eat. And soon we will remove her pull-ups and she will definitely have to use the toilet by then.
The teacher didn’t announce anything on the school platform either about her departure. So strange.
The child, as usual, ate her lunch and snacks on the picnic table.
She also denied that she drank any water today. So silly. She will say she didn’t do it even if she did for some reason. What is she afraid of?
She told me that they had a new blue folder today and this was to place the new poems that they would be learning. I opened it and sung the poem/song to her. It was bug-themed and in the tune of “Are you sleeping”.
She said she wanted to wait for her friend again at 5 p.m. and this time, we saw her friend at the kindergarten gates when the after-care program let them out for recess. It was yet another beautiful day (we did have two days last week where we had to go home first because it was raining outside). So grateful for this beautiful September weather we’ve been having lately. Her friend called out her voice in such a sweet and sing-song way. They were both happy to see each other. But the moment the child got closer to her, she turned away and was shy again. She showed the child a Mickey Mouse sticker, a twig, and wanted her to watch her climb up the salting bucket lol.
Her friend told me that every day, she asks my daughter, “Are you tired?” and my daughter will nod. And she’ll ask, “Did you sleep early?” and “Did you go to bed late?” and my daughter will shake her head “no” to both of these questions and she finds it amusing. Maybe her friend sees her staying at the cubbies the entire day and thinks she is tired lol.
We had a quick dinner when we got home because the parent council meeting was that evening at 6:30. In order to alleviate grandma from having to look after two kids at home, I decided to bring the older one with us too. I asked if she wanted to go and she wanted to (another sign that she isn’t afraid of school and was willing to go).
The parent council meeting was held in the school library (so nice to be able to see it) and it was an eye-opening opportunity into what goes on behind the scenes at an elementary school.
Firstly, we found out the exact reason why our child will now have a new kindergarten teacher on Monday. It’s because the school has fewer grade 7 and grade 8 students than initially expected (because a lot of families are moving out of the Markham area for affordability purposes) and so they had to dissolve the split grade 7/8 classroom. Because of this, the permanent contract teacher who teaches that class needed a new class to teach. The child’s kindergarten teacher happens to be an LTO position (not permanent) and thus she was the first one to get the axe (surplused). The split grade 7/8 teacher is the one who will be teaching our child’s kindergarten class now. It all makes sense now!
However, upon hearing that this grade 7/8 teaching will be teaching the kindergarten class puts a worry into my head too. It’s such a drastic change from teaching grade 7/8 to kindergarten. Does the teacher have experience in teaching kindergarten? Would she know how to handle my child and other kindergarten kids? Is she used to it? Does she want this? I really can’t wait to find out her first name so that I can look her up on OCT to see what kind of experience and qualifications she has.
I liked that the parent council meeting had snacks for kids too (not that there were many kids who attended). The child sat on a chair between me and DH and ate 3 packets of snacks (bear paws, chips ahoy mini cookies, and mini Oreo cookies). It must have been all the sugar because she actually passed out near the end of the meeting. Poor thing, so tired out.
It was nice to meet the principal again, meet the new vice principal, and see how other parents talked about upcoming school lunch programs, etc. I’m really glad we went. I would love to be a more active part of the parent council meeting but DH says we currently have our hands full. Perhaps when we have all the kids in the school system full-time, then we can do it then because it will probably affect us more by then.
October 2: The next day on the Friday was the first PA Day for the students in York Region. Wow, how quickly September has flown by and we have our first PA Day already. It’s quite shocking how fast this is all going. For this first day off from school, I didn’t want the child just sitting at home playing with her usual things. I wanted her to continue practising being in the classroom environment so where else to take her but to EarlyON? We went back to the location that we went to during the summer when she had her summer camp activities because it’s where she is used to and comfortable.
It was really, really nice to again have both kids with me (and grandma) at the EarlyON site. I miss it a lot. It was a “Messy Play” session and the facilitation had set up activity centres: one was plastic bugs covered in shaving cream that you could manipulate and play with. One was a water station with balloons and metal cups. One was large cardboard boxes with loose brown paper. One was playdough with dried flowers and leaves. We were the very first ones to arrive (we purposely arrived early because we didn’t want to risk having the centre fill up and not receiving more people). Remember how we missed out on the full centre a few Saturdays ago when we tried to go?
While the 21 month old was playing with grandma near the tent and kitchen play area, I spent time with the 4 year old. She ended up playing with the purple playdough for the majority of the time. She first used the plastic scissors to cut apart the playdough. Then I showed her the mortar and pestle and how she could use it to crush things up. She ended up taking the dried rose petals from the table and cutting them inside the mortar and crushing them. She was very focused and into the task. Then she used the scissors to continue cutting the petals until they were very, very small pieces. The other boy who was at the same activity saw her doing this and started to cut up the rose petal pieces too. She tried cutting up the branch with the leaves but was unsuccessful because it was too hard (texture was hard).
I was chatting with one of the facilitators too and she was asking about the child’s progress at school. I gave her a short summary. The facilitator understood that she will have to go through another transition now with the new teacher but hopefully things will go well.
There was another mom at the table who I was chatting with too. I wasn’t a big fan of the fact that her son asked if he could take the purple playdough home and while the facilitator said, “You can after today, I don’t see why not”, they actually took their entire sphere of playdough into their bag to take home before the session was even over. Another child and parent who wanted to play with the playdough afterwards were wondering where the playdough had gone to. I don’t think it’s right for a parent to allow her child to take away a shared play toy before the session was over; other kids couldn’t play with it then…
The 21 month old is really good at using markers to draw on a piece of paper these days. She might just be scribbling but it’s “good scribbling” haha.
Both kids were hungry by the time circle time rolled around so they didn’t actually participate in the songs and dances. It’s too bad because I wanted the 4 year old to be used to participating in circle time but alas you can’t force them if they’re hungry. They did the Floor is Lava song too which she loves.
The centre installed new stalls for the washroom so that the previously open toilet is now closed. The 4 year old did everything herself — layer toilet paper on the toilet seat, pee, wipe, flush, and then wash her hands. I didn’t have to do much (I closed and locked the stall door). She CAN do these things herself. It’s just a matter of whether she wants to or not.
We had a fancy PA Day lunch at the same lobster restaurant me and grandma went to last week. There were so many people on a weekday. The 21 month old had fallen asleep in the car on the way there. DH joined us once we had ordered the items too. It was really nice to have lunch together as a family at a restaurant on a work day.
The 4 year old retrieved a booster chair by herself and buckled herself and sat so nicely eating her mini sponge cakes. She does so well at restaurants; I’m so proud. The 21 month old woke up in time to eat something too.
Later that afternoon, we went for a walk to the playground. Both kids were in the new wagon. I decided not to stay at home and enjoy me time but to spend time with them outdoors because summer is ending and these days with them as little kids are short. They sit so well in the wagon together despite facing each other.
On the Saturday, it was the 4 year old’s first day of Mandarin class!! I honestly struggled with deciding whether we should have enrolled her in the program or not. It means our Saturday mornings from now until June are no longer free and she has a commitment away from our family. However, I also know how valuable early language learning is and I definitely want her to learn Mandarin (the earlier the better), so we stuck with it. I also know that if we have family events planned on the Saturday, I will pull her out of the class for it. It’s no big deal.
We adults were all so proud of her. She didn’t cry at all at the drop-off. All the kids and parents were gathered in the school gym so they could get sorted into their classes. Once we found her teacher and classmates, she sat on the bencher and waited. She looked timid but was not scared. In fact, there were at least 2 other kids who were crying and didn’t want their parents to leave them.
When it was time to enter the classroom, she stood up with her backpack on and followed the teacher and other students to their classroom inside the school. We weren’t allowed to watch them into the classroom. The 4 year old waved bye to grandma. So well done! Her first time in a new environment and she didn’t even flinch or cry. So, so proud of her.
The rest of us had brunch and ran errands before going to pick her up at 11:50 a.m. In fact, we were late to pick her up because of unexpected wait times at the supermarket and traffic. I was really glad that the school has a safe policy and don’t release the child until they know the parent is there. All the kids were waiting inside of the foyer area of the classroom for their parent to pick them up.
The child said that she drew pictures inside the classroom and ran inside the gym when they had a break time (I guess indoor recess for the first day). Wow. So good! She drank from her water bottle too. She was completely unscared and seemed very comfortable in the Mandarin classroom from what she told us. I couldn’t believe she was able to join the other kids so quickly on the first day like this! So different from regular day school! Her teacher (and the volunteer) must be so chill that the 4 year old felt comfortable.
(The drawing she did, it was so cute. I hadn’t seen her draw a character with big eyes and glasses before. It’s a new creation and progress of her skills!)
I was talking to 2 other friends about this and they surmised it might be because the teacher and other kids are all Asian and she’s comfortable around Asians/comfortable being able to hear Cantonese/Mandarin. All I know is that if she can participate and be part of the class for Saturday language school, she definitely can do it for English day school too.
On the Sunday, we had a full day at the Toronto Zoo! It was our first visit to the zoo this year (thanks to the MAP pass) and the first time that the 21 month old was more aware of what’s going on.
DH brought the wagon this time (with all of their snacks and our lunch packed in too). It allowed both kids to see the zoo and everything around them clearly — unlike a stroller which only faces one direction and the child sitting in the back cannot see the front view.
Both kids were hungry by the time we got there at 11:30 a.m.ish and ate their snacks and fruit first. Then we saw animals like lemurs, fish, snakes, gorilla, etc. before settling down for actual lunch.
The 4 year old liked holding the 21 month old’s hands. When they were walking on the boardwalk around, the 21 month old was hesitant to walk and held back because she could see the ground from below and was scared. It was a new territory for me to see her fearful like that. We reassured her that it was safe and that she just needed to continue holding her sister’s hands to walk. The gap between the wooden slates wasn’t even that big but it must have seemed really dangerous to her.
During our picnic lunch, the kids also played on the outdoor obstacles they had (walking on a bridge and walking on a tightrope). They enjoyed the outdoor space. It was again another beautiful sunny 23-ish degree day.
We then saw another gorilla, the giraffes (who were inside for the first time that I can remember), hippopotamus, rhinoceroses, birds, red river hogs, and the 4 year old liked going up on the safari tour bus for fun. We had another break time for some snacks for the kids before heading back towards the entrance/exit area.
Of course, the last thing on the list was the carousel! Both kids, grandma, and DH went on it. They enjoyed it. The 21 month old by this point was so tired and pretty much out of it. After all, it was almost 6 p.m. — closing time for the zoo.
On the way to dinner, the 21 month old passed out hard but then she woke up during dinner to eat. Later that night, the 4 year old passed out on the way home as we expected.
On the Monday, it was Truth and Reconciliation Day so DH had the day off. We took the 21 month old to the EarlyON site again because DH wanted to be with her more (opposed to doing house chores at home lol).
Oh, and we saw the new kindergarten teacher from afar during drop-off. So exciting for her to have a new teacher! The 4 year old’s friend was sick that day and didn’t show up to school.
The 4 year old wore her “Every child matters” orange T-shirt to school, as did many other students who remembered to wear an orange shirt that day. It was really nice to see the pops of orange in the school yard. It makes me sad that so many years ago an Indigenous student’s orange shirt was taken away from her and now decades later, we remember it by having everyone wear orange. It’s so a tragic story but a great way to remember what happened and to never forget.
The 21 month old wore her orange “scary cute” onesie again. DH lent me his orange technical running shirt. He wore his peach-coloured shirt. Grandma wore her own shirt that was orange. We all wore orange for Orange Shirt Day! Next year, I’ll probably have to buy a new orange shirt for the younger child because we’ll need two orange shirts for each child during these events. It’s a worthwhile thing to invest in.
The 21 month old played with some homemade playdough at EarlyON (I found this out that they regularly make playdough from scratch because it’s more hygienic. This explains why the facilitator let the boy take home the playdough because they weren’t going to reuse it anyway). She played with the sand box a bit too. She played with the kitchen stuff and ate her snack. We did circle time and did the land acknowledgement song with sign language too. I liked that the activity centres that day were all featured around Indigenous culture and Orange Shirt Day.
When it was time for picking up the child that day, the entire family went because we wanted to meet the new teacher. Upon seeing us, she introduced herself with her full name (making it so easy for me to search her up afterwards) and told us that our daughter was a “lovely” girl and that she will take time to get to know her. And that was it! Super easy and hassle-free pick-up.
The child drank water again that day from her bottle but didn’t eat or do much other than staying at her cubby area again. At least she is drinking water now. This teacher seems more relaxed and easy-going, so hopefully it won’t take long for her to warm up to the teacher and participate in the classroom.
That evening, DH brought both kids to his parents’ place and I went out with grandma for some AYCE sushi.
The next day, I brought the 21 month old to the Tuesday EarlyON. The usual facilitator wasn’t here as she was on vacation. It was another facilitator instead. Upon walking into the classroom, she said she recognized us immediately. Turns out she was the facilitator who was at the EarlyON site where we visited back in the spring and the then 3 year old didn’t want to enter the classroom because she was still triggered by the JTK incident. Of course, this facilitator remembered me even though she only met me once. I mean how many other parents do you remember that burst out crying at an EarlyON site?
And because she remembered me, I immediately wanted to tell her about how the child is doing now. And while I did so, I was once again reminded that she wasn’t very compassionate or understanding. After I told her about how we did the Triple P program and how it helped the child, all she could talk about how Triple P is great and if I had tried the group sessions yet because you can hear about other parents’ experiences. Um, our in-person one-on-one experience with the Triple P fear-less session was AMAZING. Why can’t she just acknowledge what I was saying in regards to the child’s improvement instead of going off about promoting her own programs instead? I immediately stopped confiding and talking to her for much longer after that because I could tell that she wasn’t even on the same page as me. It’s really difficult to continue talking to someone who is talking at odds with you and not even on the same headspace.
The 21 month old enjoyed pulling out different baskets of toys from the shelf to play with. She was playing with her beloved doctor’s kit at one point when another child who was the same age as her (I knew because I was chatting with her mom) pulled out the stethoscope toy and then the part for the blood pressure toy and put it into her mouth. Ugh. I mean it’s fine a lot of kids mouth toys but I was annoyed that her mom was sitting a metre away and not realizing that her daughter had put a toy into her mouth.
The 21 month old wanted to play with it afterwards and I told her no because it had been in someone else’s mouth. I gestured and told the child’s mom that she had put the toy in her mouth and it now needs to go into the “mouthed toys” bin in order to be washed. She didn’t know where to put the toy and was wandering the back of the classroom for a bit. I told her she could ask the facilitator. The facilitator pointed her to place the toys on the desk. I hated that the parent had a look on her face like it wasn’t her fault the toys were clean and how dare I ask her to take the toys for cleaning. Parents who take their kids to EarlyON should be sitting next to their child and watching what they’re doing… not just chilling or on their phones or just chatting away with other people. 🙄
The 21 month old liked laying on the small couch again like last time.
When she asked to wash her hands (she makes the washing hands gesture), we did so and then she wanted to eat. She actually sat at the snack table and waited for me to cross the classroom to the bags area to get her snack and water for her. Such a good girl.
Then it was time for circle time. She enjoyed the rolly-polly song and zoom zoom to the moon as usual. When we left, we washed our hands again (for good hygiene practices) and she really wanted to eat again at the snack table. I told her it was time to go and we could eat outside the school on the bench instead. She threw a little tantrum and stomped her feet but ultimately came with me outside. She sat on the bench and ate her snacks so nicely. I changed her diaper in the car and within minutes of driving, she was passed out. I love how easy it is.
At pick-up that day, the teacher told me they went out on a nature walk and the child picked up a pinecone. And also she said that the child “did her usual thing” but that she was having her sit in a chair and hopefully bring the chair closer and closer to the classroom. She didn’t mention anything about her not eating or not peeing. She was unbothered and very relaxed. We appreciate it sooo much.
Once again, the child’s friend was absent from school that day. Grandma saw that another girl tried to take her hand in the morning during line-up but the child didn’t want to take her hand lol. Awww. She is waiting for her other friend to return to school to hold hands with her instead.
Today the Wednesday, I had a nice chat with a representative from TGTG. Grandma took the 21 month old by herself to the library where there was a mobile site happening for EarlyON. The facilitators there recognized the 21 month old. She had a good time and passed out in the car on the way home. We love that.
The 21 month old is slowly saying more words. Her new thing is that she likes to say her sister is crying even though she’s not. We will ask her, “Who is crying?” And she will say “Jei jei”. The way she says “haam” (cry) is so cute. She can say “go” for “high”. When she wants to drink something, she will cough/clear her throat.
When the 21 month old herself is crying, we ask her who is crying now? She will still respond with “jei jei”. She’s always blaming her sister lol.
At pickup today, the teacher followed up with us about if we got the student’s username and password yet from the office. When I told her we did and also paid for the upcoming field trip, she was so happy and excited and said she’s looking forward to the trip. No pressure or lectures. ^_^
I do notice that this teacher doesn’t take photos to upload onto the school platform. I did enjoy that the previous teacher took photos and uploaded them onto the platform for us to see, but I think this teacher is still settling into her routine as a new kindergarten teacher.
All this week, the child likes to play with the sticker book that grandma’s friend gave us. There are stickers to stick on the designated pages. At first, I felt it was a very closed-ended activity and wasn’t a big fan of it but then I realize the value of the child practising her fine motor skills and learning what belongs where (categories). There are many pages and she does a few at a time. I feel like as a kid, I would want to finish all of them at once lol. It’s a nice activity that she can do herself but she prefers to ask us to confirm where each sticker goes too.