Week 185 motherhood – Easter egg hunt, first Kinder Surprise, outgrowing her shoes, Richmond Hill Journey to Kindergarten

Easter egg hunt in the backyard — their first time!

Week 185 motherhood with 3.5 year old and 15 month old:

March 28 to April 3, 2024.

March 28: This week was not off to a good start. I finally submitted my feedback to EarlyON Markham about their Journey to Kindergarten program (because I e-mailed them to let them know we would not be continuing with the program after the first day’s unfortunate session) and they wanted to hear my feedback about the first day. I told them basically I was shocked that they would force the child to separate from the parent on the first day without any transition period/activities/warmup and that the other two York Region EarlyON locations don’t run JTK the same way. I suggested having a transition period and an more engaging parent component for their upcoming programs. The manager/supervisor asked for a phone call with me. I called her back, not thinking much of it.
Long story short, the 13.5-minute long phone conversation was essentially her apologizing for what we experienced that day and that all of their EarlyON programs were trained just recently (with the other locations) on how JTK should be run and that they should have had a transition activity first before the children separated. However, although she was experiencing regret for what I experienced, during the phone call, she still said certain things that made me feel like it was not a sincere apology/she was just doing her part as upper level management to make me feel like I was being heard but not necessarily that they were going to really do anything different about their program for the future. One of the things she said which rubbed me the wrong way was “I can tell you have a very strong attachment to your child.” Um, what’s that supposed to mean? So are you again pinning it on me that because *I* am very strongly attached to my child/we have a close relationship that that is why she cannot separate from me at the program? But it was only one day and your staff didn’t do it properly. You tried to peel the child away from the parent immediately upon check-in. Why do the TWO other locations do it so differently than you? Why do they both say “We meet the child where they’re at”? The philosophy is completely different at the Markham location. How can they all have been trained altogether at the same place recently when their values and methods are completely different?
Among the reasons she gave was that they were short-staffed that day and that they should have prepared the name tags beforehand. Um, but that still doesn’t explain why the child had to be dragged away from the parent so forcefully without any introduction/warmup to the facilitators or to the classroom. It’s unnatural and almost cruel.
She asked me which two other locations I attended and upon knowing one was the Thornhill one, asked me how they did the parent component. She was getting ideas on how to improve their Markham program (which is a good thing for sure) but definitely she was more interested in getting ideas for her work instead of hearing me out.
What I would have appreciated from her would have been her ASKing me, “So what happened exactly that day?” Because if she did, I would have told her how I saw one boy being physically held down by one of the facilitators to stay in the classroom while his parent left the room and how the same boy tried to run after his mother into the hallway when he realized she was gone. It was so disturbing for me to watch the event unfold. And who knows what happened to my child when I was urged to leave the room that day too. The whole thing was very harsh, abrupt, and forceful.
And I would have told her that I was urged many, many times by the facilitators to leave the room to join the parent’s component because I “would be late if I didn’t go now”.
And even when I tried to explain to one of the facilitators there that it was my first time leaving my child (who was sobbing and holding on to my arm), that she still told me that it was normal for the child to cry on the first day and that they will cry less and less each day and that’s how it was to be done.
You would think that a phone call addressing my feedback should have left me content and feel “heard”, but it was the opposite. I felt so uneasy and like I had to decompress before I went on with my day. This speaks a lot to how the phone call went. That was definitely not how I wanted to start part of my morning off.
To add to the day, the 3 year old did not want to attend the second session of the JTK program at the Thornhill location. Nooooo. The Thornhill location is a gem and the facilitators there are so wonderful and kind and understanding. I ended up bringing grandma and the 15 month old along and I tried to persuade the child by saying we would go to the library. We did finally get out the door (we left the house at the time that the program was supposed to start), but when we got there, the child did not want to get out of the car to attend the program. She just did not want to go. Thus, we didn’t (see, I try to respect my child). We did go to the library instead. She was so happy and smiling when we arrived. I read with her. I saw a book aptly titled “It’s OK: Being Kind to Yourself When Things Feel Hard” and read it to her. (Because this was how I was feeling that day. I felt defeated as a parent.) I don’t often feel this way, but this was one of those tough days where we were managing big feelings and tantrums. It certainly didn’t help that grandma did not have a good night the day prior too, which I think her moodiness may have leeched on to the child. Nevertheless, ever since we attended the first session of the JTK program at the Markham location, the child has been throwing wild and ferocious tantrums more than before. Markham location, I think you may have ruined the JTK program for my child.
It was too bad that we missed out on the second day of the Thornhill program. My friend who attended told me they made homemade playdoh that day and more kids attended than the first day. There was even a parent who drove from Woodbridge to attend the program because they knew that the Thornhill location did the JTK program really well. I certainly believe that.
We did say hi to the facilitators who were in the yard with the other kids at the end of the program. At least we showed our faces that day.
DH brought the kids to the park later that afternoon and the 3 year old was so happy playing in the playground. I believe she decompresses the best by playing outdoors. DH filmed a clip of her climbing up the rails and sliding down the slide herself as well. She can do it herself! We think that she acts differently when she is with him compared to with me. She seems more clingy with me sometimes. But then again, she is more clingy with DH too. It really changes by the moment, this child.
March 29: I kept forgetting to write about this, but the 15 month old always avoids nail cutting. She just doesn’t like her nails being trimmed at all. The most we can do is one fingernail at a time and then she will withdraw her fingers and not let us anymore.
I also have stopped inputting exactly when and for how long I nurse her now in my Baby Tracker app. I only use it now to record her diaper changes and the first and last feed of the day (usually). There’s really no need to track her feeds anymore (not like in the newborn or early months).
We visited a Longo’s that was open today on Good Friday to participate in their Easter egg hunt. So fun! I wish I did this as a kid. The store, in collaboration with Kinder Surprise, posted differently designed pictures of Easter eggs around the store for kids to find and to fill out the ballot/form to win an Easter egg basket. The 3 year old walked around a bit with us but then got quickly tired. She had to be held and didn’t want to sit in a shopping cart. The 15 month old was walking fine by herself (me holding her hand). The older one wasn’t able to scan the shelves and aisles for the Easter eggs as well as we could, but I think she still enjoyed the process. They each received a Kinder Surprise chocolate egg at the end when we submitted our sheets. A nice family activity. However, I think they will enjoy it more when they are older and can do it independently/spot the eggs themselves.
The 3 year old can be so picky about what clothes she wears. This is why it takes a long time for us to get her dressed and out the door sometimes. She likes this pair of pants but not the other one. Sometimes, she wants to wear her pajama tops or bottoms out the door, and I have to be firm about denying her; I want at-home clothes to stay at home (more clean that way).
On the weekend, we went to Good Catch for brunch/lunch. We actually ended up arriving right at noon which was a peak time. We got a number and waited 35 minutes before we got a table. The 3 year old sat with DH on the chairs and waited. I took the 15 month old by hand for her to walk around. It’s actually great that we were able to wait 35 minutes for a table and everyone was doing okay for the most part. It can be unthinkable for some toddlers.
It’s so funny to me when the 3 year old pulls out her homepacked lunch box with her snacks to enjoy at a restaurant. She likes her lunch box a lot now (yay!). It’s funny to me because it’s like an insult to the restaurant (I’d rather eat my snacks instead of your food) lol.
We arrived 30 minutes early to a family gathering for dim sum so we went to the nearby playground for the kids to play first. It was funny watching the 15 month old slide down the slide because it’s still a new experience for her. The 3 year old wanted to hold her sister’s hand while they were sliding down the double slide.
We visited DH’s cousins in the west end too where they had a Great Dane dog. The kids weren’t afraid of her — but also because she was elderly and didn’t come over to sniff at them. The 3 year old opened up at seeing her older cousin’s collection of stuffed animals.
The 3 year old wants to help me vacuum, so now I let her. Although she doesn’t do it perfectly, it’s great practice for her. I have to learn to let go my OCD tendencies to do everything perfectly and just let her try. She doesn’t do it for a long time anyway.
We went for dinner at Kelsey’s (because all the other restaurants in our area were crazily packed that night) and the 3 year old really enjoyed the kid’s menu they have there. They include a drink (she had apple juice, which she finished basically all of before her main even arrived!) and a dessert too. She enjoyed her cheese pizza very much and was sitting so well in her chair. We actually put her in a booster for the first time because I noticed she was squatting in the chair. She was much more content in the booster and now we know to get one when we are at restaurants. No wonder why sometimes she prefers to sit in our laps because it’s higher that way? But then again, she likes to cling to us so that may not be the sole reason. The nice server gave both kids a push-up vanilla ice cream treat despite us only ordering one kid’s menu. The 15 month old ate a lot of the chicken alfredo pasta that night! She eats well on most days.
The 3 year old had her very first Kinder Surprise treat (the one we got from Longo’s). She didn’t know what to expect. I let her peel the foil and then she noticed something was inside the chocolate shell. We hammered it open (as she enjoyed the chocolate shell) and then she played with the toy inside. Toys from Kinder aren’t the same as when I was a kid. This one was a butterfly ring. All you had to do was stick on the sticker and put the two pieces together. It wasn’t much of a “toy” toy. The instruction sheet said that you could put a message in the ring part of it though and that’s what the 3 year old enjoyed doing for the rest of the evening — cutting up a small piece of paper to insert into the ring. She liked it.
On Easter Monday, we went to my SIL’s place where we had lunch and she set up a Easter egg hunt for the kids in the backyard. Brownie points go to her for buying, sorting, setting up the items for the kids. She had the small chocolate eggs as well as different coloured plastic eggs filled with stickers, chocolate, and stamps for the kids. I couldn’t do this (don’t have the mental capacity to), so big props to her. The kids really enjoyed it — I know mine did. It was their first REAL Easter egg hunt (that Longo’s one doesn’t cut it).
They all had their own fabric baskets too (so cute). The 3 year old went to gather basically all of the coloured plastic eggs as opposed to the small chocolate ones you can eat. Clever one, this one is. I guess she associated the plastic eggs with the Kinder Surprise one with a toy in it and that’s why she went for that. That’s a sign of higher intelligence, isn’t it? She knew not to go for the chocolate eggs but to choose during the hunt already to go for the plastic ones.
The 15 month old went along with DH to collect the eggs too. She stumbled a bit here and there but I think she got the gist of it too.
When we were done, the 3 year old was generous enough to share her eggs (the chocolate ones) by giving one to each adult. That was nice. (But she probably did it because she prefers the plastic one?!)
We finally understood why the 3 year old didn’t like wearing her shoes often — it’s because her feet are growing and her shoes feel tight! I noticed a growth spurt in her recently; she looked so much taller and some of her pants are starting to look short. It makes sense that with a taller height, she has bigger feet too! I couldn’t find any close-by new shoes that are in her size so we went to Joe Fresh inside of the Superstore for some new shoes. We actually bought a pair of brand new barefoot Be Lenka shoes for her in Hong Kong, ready for her to wear in a bigger size, but unfortunately she doesn’t like the way it fits (the tag part at the end seems to tug on her ankles and she doesn’t like it).
We had her try on shoes in the store and she didn’t like them and didn’t even try them on. Not until she saw something SHE liked lol. We ended up with a pair of size 10 sneakers and a pair of size 9-10 sandal-like shoes. She’s been enjoying wearing the new sneakers.
On Tuesday night, DH brought the 3 year old to the Aurora JTK program. It was the third week and the theme was “emotion regulation”. The child didn’t want to separate from DH and again stayed with him in the parent component. One of the facilitators/assistants was really patient and kind and actually went to her and played with her. She was okay with it (which is a step forward in my eyes). She also left the program that day with two new toys. It’s like a flexible plastic cup with emotions on it. She got the happy face and sad face one — one for her and one for her sister. So nice of the facilitators!
Part of our backyard fence fell down due to the windy storm last night. The 15 month old was so curious and watched her dad repair it with the neighbour from the window. So cute.
We attended the first session of the Richmond Hill Journey to Kindergarten program (the one that I was lucky to get into after e-mailing them). Again, they do it differently from the Markham location. They had a divider set up where the parents were to take part in a circle time (with fold-up chairs for them to sit on) and the children were in the other part of the room with a crafts table, a play tent, water table, snack table, toys and books. I liked that they prepared ahead of time the name tags for both the parents and the children. They had the parent’s name on the child’s name tag and the child’s name on the parent’s name tag too. They also prepared little cubbies for the children to place their backpacks in (with their name printed out and photos too!) Our child didn’t have a photo with hers because I guess we hadn’t been to that EarlyON location recently and they didn’t get time to capture and print out a photo.
One of the facilitators there is extra kind to our 3 year old and makes a good impression on her. She also speaks Cantonese which is a bonus. Even then though, the 3 year old had a feeling that it was going to be one of those programs again where she might be left alone and was clinging on to DH (oh, yeah, we brought DH again because she already didn’t want to attend in the morning). When we entered the door and she was clingy like that, I explained to one of the facilitators that we had attended another program already where she had a bad experience and the facilitator sweetly told us and reassured us it was fine and she could take as long as she wanted to get comfortable.
The 3 year old actually kept saying, “I want to leave. I don’t want to be here”. I would have been okay with leaving despite it meaning us giving up on the first day. I’m glad DH held her and didn’t give up.
There were a lot of other kids with parents in the room too who didn’t separate for a while. The facilitator, upon seeing how uncomfortable our child was, did tell us she could join us in the parent’s program if she needed. And yet another facilitator told us that they didn’t want her first day to be a bad experience, so to take it easy. See? THIS is the kindness and patience we need from an EarlyON Journey to Kindergarten program!! Not the forceful separation that we experienced at the Markham location! Geez.
The 3 of us sat with the other parents in the parents’ part. Since there was a divider in the room, a few kids actually came to their parents during the segment to say hi or have a cuddle before resuming their play. There was also a little boy who sat just behind his parent and played on the floor with toys. This was so normal and great to see. Because there was a divider in the room only, sound carried over and we heard the facilitators informing the kids of circle time, etc. So when it was time for them to sing songs, DH brought the 3 year old over where they participated in the circle too (but a little bit from afar — but still good).
I also liked that the parent’s program wasn’t too long and we were able to join the children in the classroom again where they were getting ready for snack time. Uncharacteristic of her, but the 3 year old didn’t want to join the other kids for snacks at the table. It was too bad. DH told me she wasn’t comfortable that day yet (probably because we hadn’t been to that site in a while and with the dividers set up, it looked different).
Alas, we survived yet another session. I’m glad she stuck it out.
For myself though, I felt so defeated and sad. I had the blues. It must have been the gloomy and rainy weather? But I felt defeated because I really wanted these programs to help her adjust to the upcoming change in September when she starts school. I had planned and registered for them, hoping they would help. It was unlucky that the very first one we attended ended up so poorly which ruined her experience and now we have to back-track and make up for everything — it’s like starting from square one all over again. But this one also has a vivid and amazing memory, so it’s not so easy to start fresh.
Had I realized that the JTK programs weren’t supposed to be like that Markham one on the first day, I would have pulled her out and left immediately. I felt sad probably also because our pediatrician is moving and we have to find a new doctor for the kids. One ped already rejected our request, so now we have to keep searching. I loved our original ped; he was so efficient and kind and easy-going and the appointments were always fast, easy to book, and the clinic was 8-minutes away; close to us. Sigh.
The 3 year old passed out in the car on the way home from the JTK program. It was an early morning wake-up and she was probably exhausted from the mental work from not wanting to be at the program.
It is unbelievable that the 15 month old is starting to show signs of sickness again. We literally only got better only a few days ago! This is the third time in a row that one of us is sick (and if one of us is sick, that very likely means the rest will get sick soon too). She exhibited a little bit of stuffed nose and was coughing again. Sigh.
The 15 month old can follow instructions really well. When we ask her to close the cupboards or bring something to us, she does it right away!
She is always joyful and smiley. It’s such a pleasure to watch her grow! I wonder how she will be like when she begins her toddler tantrum years though… She can be very ferocious too.
When it comes time to changing her diaper, she independently goes to the mat and lies down. Sometimes, she will bring a diaper and indicate it’s time to change her. It’s the coolest thing.
The 3 year old continues to fight with her. She will push her down when she gets the chance. We anticipate this and actively tell her to NOT do it, but she doesn’t listen and shoves her sister anyway. How do we stop this?
When she has tantrums these day and they’re crazy, there’s nothing we can do except hold her and wait. And then when she has calmed down and is back to normal, she’s the sweetest thing ever — what with her big eyes and stark contrast between her dark hair and clear skin.
The 15 month old’s hair is getting more dense now. She has red dry patches on her neck and starting on her elbows and hands too. The ped last week said it was eczema and prescribed a steroid cream for her to use.
I was able to finish another transcript this week by working at night or during the day when DH brings them to the park or to his parents’ place. I still enjoy steno so much (I write these blogs with my machine!) I’ve been averaging a transcript assignment each month — good enough for me to stay sharp but not too much for me to be overwhelmed.
But it’s because I’ve been either working on transcripts or blogging during my down time that I haven’t had the opportunity to go out with my mom for a mommy-daughter date in a while. It’s overdue!
The 3 year old is fine when visiting her grandparents’ place now. She can make silly faces at the camera and is comfortable at their place now. Yay! Comfortable enough that she even pushed her sister (yet again) in front of her grandparents… Now they see it too.