Week 190 motherhood – teething, seamless transitions, mall with dinosaurs

Seamless Transitions sign

Week 190 motherhood with 3.5 year old and 16 month old.

May 2 to 8, 2024:

May 2: Argh, the 16 month old found a permanent marker, opened the lid, and drew on a business card on the floor and then before I could stop her, she left a few marks on the hardwood floors too. Ahhh. The firstborn has never done this sort of thing before! We need more eyes on this child! 😩
She likes drawing with pens and markers and knows how to do it too.
I was able to have a nice 3-hour dinner date with a dear friend. So nice to get away from the house and chat and eat. (Hi, G. I know you will be reading this lol.)
The 16 month old has not been wanting to sit in the high chair! She wants to sit in someone’s lap when we’re eating at the kitchen table. However, when I put the high chair seat top on the floor, she likes to fiddle with the buckle and then sometimes sit in it lol. This is the only way to “trick” her into sitting in it. But 95% of our meals recently, she’s sitting on someone’s lap.
The 3 year old tried yogurt tubes for the first time (because they were on sale, half price). She liked them and was able to eat them by pushing up the yogurt through the plastic sleeve. Good job/new skill.
It was funny that after the 3 year old got a yogurt tube from the fridge, the younger one wanted one as well. It’s the stage for copying the other.
She continues to like “changing” her stuffed dolls’ diapers. She will take the size 3 diapers from her sister for her dolls. She will also change their outfits using the secondborn’s clothes too. Also likes to feed them or pretend it is their birthday to make them “cakes”.
Not sure if I ever wrote about this, but the secondborn LOVES animals and living things that have a face on it. She will squeal and wave at it. It’s so adorable. Grandma shared this cartoon dog picture that her friend sent her on whatsapp. Once the 16 month old saw it, she squealed and held the phone and was so excited to look at it.
May 4: We visited the Family Stay and Play again on a Saturday. This time, we stayed for the 11:15 a.m. to 1:15 p.m. program. It was nice to play together. The sensory table with a kinetic sand was a hit for both kids. The younger one loves washing her hands again and again.
She was also really into playing with the loose parts — she was taking the green rock-things and putting them into the play pots and separating them. If it weren’t time for circle time, she would have kept playing with it. I really enjoyed just sitting next to her and watching her play. She didn’t need me to do anything or guide her. She played with whatever she wanted.
She also liked scribbling with a marker on a piece of paper. I captured her first “art work” this way. She also used white glue too.
May 6: We figured out why the 16 month old is likely clingy lately is because she’s teething! A new little tooth is sprouting. It looks like it’s the canine teeth that are coming in. She often wants to nurse and wants to cling on to me — more than before. DH or my mom has to try to distract her or convince her to go away with them (my mom says she’s taking her to look at the cars outside or look at the window).
In a way, I’m glad that her teeth are coming in. This means that she will soon be able to eat even better. I like that my older one can independently sit in a chair and eat to her heart’s content. The 16 month old tends to bite and chew but not swallow, so she’ll spurt out everything that she has in her mouth. With better eating and swallowing, she can sleep for longer and hopefully wean off of the nighttime feeds.
DH jokingly asks her, “When are you going to sleep alone?” (“Lei gay see jee gay fun ah?”) Lol. Basically, he wants his wife back in the bed with him.
But then again, as she has more teeth coming in, it means she is growing up and not as young anymore. It’s bittersweet watching our kids grow up.
It’s a paradox. I do want her to learn to eat better so she is less reliant on me. But then as she does these things independently, she is growing up and away from me. It’s a tough feeling.
When I’m tired these days, I’ll put the 16 month old to sleep (around 9:30-10:30 p.m.) and pass out until 6 a.m. or 9 a.m. It’s only if I have had a nap in the afternoon that I can get up to do some blogging at night. I’m just very tired.
Speaking of being tired, I had a full-body massage for the first time since late February. The massage therapist said my body was so tired/had a lot of “bone fire” and was very red that she recommended scraping (gua sha). I hadn’t had scraping or cupping done since before I was pregnant and the bruising/redness was borderline black. She said it was very severe (“yeem jun”). My mom says I need to get more massages to be less tired (don’t mind if I do).
The kids fight over who gets to sit in the booster high chair… Or wanting to be in my lap. We tell them to take turns but of course the younger one doesn’t understand that concept yet and will just start crying when she sees her older sister in “her spot”.
May 7: My friend who is an elementary school teacher told me about the Seamless Transitions program held at Aldergrove Public School (my alma mater!), which is a 6-week program similar to the Journey to Kindergarten program at EarlyON where they transition kids to attending kindergarten. I registered for it and we got in but I had been thinking of letting the 3 year old take a break from this type of program until September when kindergarten actually starts (due to the incident). However, I was chatting with my friend about this and with DH and this is basically the only other opportunity that she will have to practise being in kindergarten before the real thing starts. Maybe this program will have other ways and strategies to well her adjust. Most importantly, because I know that the 3 year old is more comfortable with DH, he said that because it’s 6 weeks of programming for 2 hours each time, he said that he would be able to accompany her (he will have to make up his work during the evening or put in an extra hour or something). Once he said this, this cleared the skies for me and I felt confident in the child attending the program with him there too.
Thus, today started the first day of the 6-week program. We had never been to this school before for any programs and it was very surreal to drive into the parking lot and see that they completely changed the landscape of the elementary school I once knew. They built a new wing into the kindergarten area, expanded the parking lot (much needed), used more of the former field for parking and sidewalk area, and there were 3 portables which faced the school side now. The name of the school had bolder lettering (something I noticed in the recent years when we drove past) but which they didn’t have when I was a student there. They also changed up the vestibule area (separated the entrance area). Upon walking into the school, there was another parent and child who were looking for the classroom for the ST program too. We were all led to the kindergarten classroom together.
Prior to the start of today, I actually e-mailed the facilitator to inform her about both parents attending with the child. As well, I told her briefly about the incident which occurred which makes the child feel uncomfortable about separation. I later met the facilitator. Unfortunately, I don’t think she informed the other 2 educators about the child’s situation. I talked to one educator about it and she listened to me but didn’t seem to fully grasp the full extent or severity of what I was telling her. The other educator didn’t seem to understand us at all (language barrier) and also wasn’t high on EQ to pick up on certain things that my child did. This was frustrating and disappointing.
Nevertheless, the child seemed to have an okay time in the classroom. She played with the fire truck toy, blocks, read some books, played with the drawing sand activity. During circle time though, she needed to sit in DH’s lap and didn’t want to sit alone. The educators did a welcome song and went around the circle to ask for everyone’s name. The child didn’t want to say her own name in this new environment (not surprised at all). They sang the “The more we get together” song. They brought out drumsticks for all the kids to tap with but didn’t really have a good reason for it as they later brought out a ball that was to be passed from child to child. Once the educator stopped tapping the stick, whoever was holding the ball had to say something about themselves — whether it was a colour they liked, a food they liked, etc. I personally believe that these kids are too young and unfamiliar with the setting to vocally want to share. Both my child and another child who caught the ball didn’t want to share — and that’s completely okay. I wish they sang more familiar songs or simply read a book to the kids at circle time.
I like that they had snack time and this was strategtically where they asked the parents to step aside and listen to one of the educators talk about the program. However, DH didn’t like that she talked completely in Mandarin with only a few words thrown in there in English. How were we supposed to understand her?!
They said that starting next week in week 2, snack time was where they would ask the parents to separate from the kids for about 30 minutes — the parents would go outside to the play area while the kids stayed inside to eat. Very smart technique.
During today’s snack time though, my child said she wasn’t hungry. So while everybody else (about 12 to 15 kids today) were snacking away and sitting at the tables, she didn’t want to eat. I tried to ask her to take out her lunchbox or water bottle at least, but she didn’t want to. She said she didn’t want to eat there and wanted to eat in the car later instead. This child… is not so easy. She is not typical. She doesn’t like to do things that other kids want to. She doesn’t like to follow the crowd. She likes to go against the grain. How many other 3 year olds do you know who are like this?
Anyway, I sat beside her and asked her to just watch and look at what the other kids were eating and described them to her. One Asian grandma sitting next to us took out a bottle of Yakult and offered it to my child. She didn’t want it of course. I said, “No, thank you.” It’s awkward because it felt like the grandma thought my child didn’t bring a snack or something. Um, no. It’s because she didn’t want to eat at all. She packed her own lunch box with snacks and had her water but she didn’t want to eat it at all.
Afterwards, when we were walking out towards the play area for “recess time”, the child wanted to be held by DH. She kept saying, “I don’t want to walk/stand alone. Carry me (“pol pol”)”. Other parents noticed her “strange” behaviour (especially for a child going to kindergarten soon) and I felt the looks on our backs. The same Asian grandma who offered us a snack mouthed to me directly basically saying, “She wants to be held?” I gave her a look and ignored her completely afterwards. So rude. How are you helping by doing that? Are you able to help? Do you know why she wants to be held? Are you a teacher? Are you judging her/us? Do you understand? If you don’t, then please just mind your business.
Outside, the teachers had a parachute activity for the kids where they played the “zoom zoom zoom” song (in a slower version than we’ve heard at the EarlyON centres — which I appreciate) and then blew some bubbles. The child was more interested in the small plastic slide and the outdoor toys than participating in the parachute activity. When the bubbles came out, she was interested in it but I felt like the educator didn’t blow enough bubbles for all the kids to reach easily and the child was quickly demotivated/uninterested.
Then it was the end of the two hours and time to go home. We said good-byes and then she happily ate her snacks from her lunch box in the car.
Grandma took the 16 month old to the park by herself for the first time while we were at the ST program. When the firstborn was a baby, grandma used to take her to the park very often. I suggested taking her to the park while we were at ST to break up the time that she would have to spend with her in the house. And it’s beautiful out these days, so why not take advantage of the sunny spring weather?
Grandma says this secondborn child is harder to care for because she didn’t want to leave the park to go home. And she didn’t want to sit in the stroller either, so grandma had to carry her most of the way home. Not easy for a senior to do!
This secondborn is tough and feisty. She’s not so easy to control. This is why grandma wanted us to get a child leash for her lol. She says it’s easier for 2 adults to take care of her when at the park.
My allergies have disappeared this spring? For as long as I was 12 years old, I remember having bad seasonal allergies. My nose would flare up runny and red and at the worst times, my eyes would be red and itchy too. It’s May now and the dandelions have sprung up in full force. And yet I haven’t experienced a single allergy-induced sneeze or runny nose yet. I’ve been able to breathe cleanly and freely through my nose. Wow. What? What happened?
I can deduce it to taking probiotics daily since February of this year? Could it be so? Probiotics help you have a better gut. And because 90% of our immune system is in our gut, it means that with a better gut, my immune system is better and isn’t susceptible to allergies anymore? Could it be? I hope I’m not late to the allergy party this year and that I’m actually not reacting at all. Fingers crossed. It’s such a breath of fresh air (literally) to not have to stay indoors all spring and worry about the allergens popping in through the windows.
The child still has a cough full of phlegm. It sounds bad when you hear it, but she’s actually not actively sick… She also learned how to cough up phlegm this week. Good job.
The older one gradually seems to throw less tantrums these days. She is growing up and being more logical and receptive to explanations from us? Meanwhile, the younger one is approaching the tantrum stage now. …
May 8: We went for dim sum lunch with my grandmother and uncle at Casa Deluz at Woodside Square. It was actually the 3 year old who wanted to go because she wanted to visit the “mall with the dinosaurs” as well as dine with uncle. I was really surprised. She is timid and fearful of him because of his loud voice and demeanour but she was still wanting to go.
The dim sum lunch was fine. The 16 month old stayed in the single stroller and I fed her some congee before she was very restless and needed to get out. The 3 year old sat on grandma’s lap to eat her beloved egg tarts. She also had a whole siu mai too.
(Fun fact: The 3 year old only likes to scoop out the egg part of the egg tart. She leaves the shell uneaten. Guess who eats that part? Me! [or DH].)
After the lunch, we visited the mall and took photos with the dinosaurs on display. I realize after we left that we never walked to the other side of the mall where the Food Basics is. Next time we visit, we should head that way too to see more dinosaurs on display as well as check out how that part of the mall has been revitalized.
We had an early Mother’s Day celebration at a buffet restaurant for dinner for our family. Both kids don’t want to sit in neither a high chair nor booster so they had to sit in our laps. I was lucky and got to eat by myself for most of dinner before the 3 year old wanted to sit in my lap for dessert. Both kids each had an ice cream cone! I think it was the 16 month old’s first time licking ice cream off of a cone. They enjoyed running/walking around the restaurant after they were full. They liked beating on the drum on display too. The 3 year old liked running on the sofa near the lobby (she took her shoes off first). Glad that we can have these meals out and the kids are behaving well. We don’t even need to bring entertainment for them (which is good because some kids these days seem to rely on — or their parents — ipads and screens to keep them occupied during meals).
This week, the 16 month old finished her current box of diapers and used the new ones we got which happened to be the Pampers brand. For some reason, I can really “smell” these ones/they have some kind of strong diaper smell. It’s not pleasant.