Week 183 motherhood – 15 months old, 3.5 years old, March Break programs, Iranian New Year, Journey to Kindergarten program!!!

Journey to Kindergarten program parent reflection

Parent’s reflection for the first session of Journey to Kindergarten program

Week 183 motherhood with 3.5 year old and 15 month old:

March 14 to 20, 2024. (Very long blog post ahead. 5,000+ words. )

After last week’s March Break edition of Creative Chefs, we also attended the “Little Artists” March Break camp too. It was held at an elementary school that we’ve never been to. I liked that it was from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. which meant we were able to arrive around 11 a.m. and still have enough time to play.
The facilitator there was someone we hadn’t seen in a while (I actually didn’t even remember meeting her before but grandma remembered) and I liked that I was able to chat with her on the same level. I sometimes find that the facilitators at the EarlyON programs don’t “hear” me when I speak with them. There’s either a generational gap or an actual hearing problem because they misinterpret what I say sometimes and I just don’t find it necessary to correct them. It’s just kind of weird that it happens so it was a breath of fresh air to chat with a facilitator who actually *heard* what I was saying for once.
It was our first time to “Little Artists” and indeed there were a lot of art projects available for the kids to play with. It was my mistake to forego noticing that the program was actually for 2 to 6 years old and thus the secondborn was not of age yet for the program. However, since grandma was there and with her, the facilitator said it was okay for her to be there too.
The 3 year old gravitated towards the bead-stringing activity with the pipe cleaners right away. Then she painted some wooden eggs. She kept taking a new egg out to paint after she was “done” with one and I stopped her at three eggs. It wouldn’t be fair for her to paint all the eggs and leave nothing for the rest of the kids lol.
There was a Easter themed table too where they had some plastic eggs with small felt chickadee characters. I don’t know how the kids are supposed to play with these though.
Inside of the staff room, they were making shrinkable keychains (so neat! — I had always wondered how these were done) and plasticine on wooden rounds or stock paper. The 3 year old drew on the plastic round piece with a pen but then asked me to draw for her instead. She asked me to write a “W” and she drew the character sign for “person” in Chinese. She wasn’t very into it though. Then we went to the table where she stuck bits of the plasticine on to the stock paper. Some kids stuck them on wooden rounds and were able to make a keychain out of it.
She was then curious about what the facilitator and kids were doing around the oven (it smelled like melted plastic in the room because that’s what they were doing. They were melting the plastic rounds in the toaster oven). I then told her that if she wanted to, she could shrink the plastic she drew too. We went back to the table to retrieve it but unfortunately some kid had knocked it to the ground. I found it after a bit of searching. I brushed the dust off of it and we were one of the last two plastic rounds to go into the toaster oven. I was so surprised with how fast the plastic round melted down. It was really neat! Unfortunately though, her plastic round ended up melting curled and sideways and thus stuck together. It was really sad. The facilitator was like, “Oh, no, I’m so sorry this happened, honey.” The 3 year old saw what happened and was okay with it. She wasn’t sad or anything. There was an older grandma there who said, “It probably didn’t have enough colours on it (and that’s why it curled up)” which I thought was very unnecessary and rude of a comment to make. First of all, it’s none of her business and secondly, this kind of comment makes the kid feel like they did something wrong when they didn’t. Ugh, people. She said it twice too (probably because no one responded to her the first time around). The facilitator did ask if the 3 year old wanted to make another one and to shrink it again, but she didn’t want to. I told the facilitator we would take the plastic round home anyway because that was what she made. The facilitator felt so apologetic about the whole thing, but these things happen sometimes. Despite that though, the Little Artists program was nice to visit. (Grandma was with the secondborn who bounced around from activity to activity but didn’t personally see what she was up to.)
The next day, we attended the March Break “dance camp” at the Thornhill location. They had set up part of it like the Little Gym program where the kids were able to move around and play on structures. I thought that more of it would involve dancing. Ten minutes into arriving there though, I was disappointed because the EarlyON calendar for April came out and I was unable to get into the Journey to Kindergarten registration program for the 3 year old at the Richmond Hill location. I couldn’t believe how quickly the spots filled up! I had checked at 10 a.m. and after 10 minutes of not looking at my phone, it was already full. I even asked DH to look at it at home and he wasn’t able to get it either (he was working though). I was so crestfallen!
The 3 year old cut some ribbon, made some cutouts on paper, played with some tape (she wanted to ask the facilitator for more tape after the roll we had ran out), popsicle sticks, and she used the wooden tongs to put puff balls into a plate. Good job! Using tongs has been one of the skills she hasn’t been able to master yet but I think she’s got it now.
The last 45 minutes was when everyone gathered at the carpet around and we did songs and dances (the “dance camp” part of the program!). The 3 year old didn’t want to stand by herself again (I forgot to give her a warning before we entered the class for her to stand by herself) and I had to hold her/then switch with grandma to hold her when the 14 month old needed to nurse.
When the “Tap your Toe” song came on, we were so ready and knew it (although the 3 year old still didn’t want to dance to it). The 3 year old has been asking for it to be played at home and I always sing and do the move wants with them. I did all the movements and knew all the lyrics even better than the facilitator hahaha :P.
Then they brought out silk scarves and umbrellas and bubbles and it was basically akin to a Zumbini program. They even did the “whoosh whoosh — starlight shining” song at the end too like how Zumbini usually finishes up. It was nice to have some movement in the day but I felt like their carpet area was too small for all the adults and children to move around comfortably. Maybe the classroom would have been a bigger area to host this in?
The 14 month old is into the wooden screws Melissa & Doug toy recently. She wants me to help her screw and put the screws in the wooden slates.
She is so into reading these days! I love it. She will pick books off the bookshelf and have us read it to her. The thing about this child though is that she’s not the most patient with the reading and will flip through the pages quickly without listening to much of the reading. Most times, she will flip more than one page too (the board book pages). She is more patient with listening to certain books though. She has her favourites already. For example, she likes the “Read me a story” book and the “Baby Feminists” book and will sit through the whole thing usually.
On Saturday, we visited another EarlyON program as a family (the 4 of us) as I wanted the 3 year old to be more used to EarlyONs again (after us not attending for like a week). It was really nice for DH to step inside an EarlyON program again; he hasn’t been since before the Family Zumbini one. He took the 14 month old while I was with the 3 year old.
Both kids gravitated and played at the water table the longest. They were bathing baby dolls with the soapy water and sponges! Actually, the 14 month old was the first one to start playing with this and played with it the longest. She really enjoyed it. It was funny because one of the facilitators came over to observe them playing and then the 3 year old stopped shortly after that. She doesn’t like others watching her play. I mean… I get it. I don’t like others watching me play either lol.
Every time we go to an EarlyON, the 3 year old usually does some arts and crafts thing and we take it home. This time, she stuck some pom-poms on the piece of construction paper using white glue as well as drew some of her “map” drawings again.
I like it when the facilitators sing passionately during circle time. You can really tell when the facilitators are rushing it or shortening it or doing it just for the sake of it.
The kids have been enjoying the fruit pouches. A friend gave it to us for the first time and I fed them with spoons so they can share (so the 3 year old doesn’t always get used to just sucking it). The 14 month old really likes sweet things, I noticed.
During the afternoon, I had my first colour analysis session! DH came with me, so both kids stayed at home with grandma. Luckily, we left the home fine and no one cried. (Will be be blogging about it soon.)
We got the 3 year old a training toilet seat with a ladder! Yay! She’s been using it since and been good at going to it to pee. The cute little bear on it helps too. DH picked a good one that he knew the child would like. I like that it doubles up as a small ladder stool too by folding it up.
For St. Paddy’s Day, we went out to the pub to celebrate with pub food and green beer! We actually went back to the restaurant pub where the firstborn visited for her very first restaurant experience. It is really nice there and the staff are so friendly. They were just as friendly this time as the first time we visited. It was really nice. The 3 year old ate well sitting by herself. I like that they have an area near the front of the restaurant where the kids were able to walk around after too. DH and I enjoy green beer and pub food once in a while like this so much.
We had a playdate with our friend at EarlyON and it wasn’t until we arrived there that we both found out they were celebrating the Iranian New Year there! So special! We got to partake in some traditional Persian activities like jumping over the firepit, listen to songs in Farsi, listen to a traditional Persian story (I think), and try Aush reshteh (Iranian thick soup) for the first time! They also had fresh fruits and carrot muffins available too. What a treat!! Both kids enjoyed the carrot muffins and the 3 year old ate a lot of the grapes and honeydew. Yum! Grandma and I both enjoyed the aush reshteh soup too (my first time having it) and I brought back some for DH to try as well. It was really, really special and I’m so glad we happened to visit and celebrate it together! ❤ It is so good for the kids to learn about different cultures and we have never encountered it before.
They had a water station too where they had teacups and bowls and tea bags so the water was basically tea for them to play with. The 14 month old loves playing with water.
Journey to Kindergarten!! The day I had been waiting for finally arrived! In preparation for this day, we bought a brand new lunch bag for the child and took out her lunch box again (we familiarized her with it already a few months ago). I actually had wanted to get a backpack for her but the Facebook market sellers didn’t get back to me in time, so DH went with the kids to the local stores to find one. I couldn’t believe that a backpack cost $40 at One’s! Thus, we ended up getting the $12 lunch bag instead (which she will eventually need anyway). The Markham Journey to Kindergarten program e-mailed us to tell us to bring a snack, water bottle, snack container, backpack, a change of clothes, and a pair of indoor shoes for the child for the program (and to have everything labelled with their name). We diligently followed these instructions.
The program was from 9 to 11 a.m. and at an elementary school which we’ve been to before but takes 30 minutes to drive to in the morning due to the morning rush hour. We set our alarms for 7:30 a.m. so the child would have sufficient time to eat a hearty breakfast and dress up. The 3 year old takes a long time to dress up because she likes to do it herself and sometimes doesn’t like the clothes we’ve chosen for her. So we have to re-pick again. She has a certain preference for how to wear her socks with her pants over it, so it takes time to do that too.
My plan was to leave the house by 8:30 a.m. with ample time to make it there in time, but we didn’t actually leave until 8:36 a.m. We still made it to the school right at 9 a.m. When we walked into the school and found the classroom where the Journey to Kindergarten program was at, there was a short line where the parents in front of us were checking in their kids as usual. What I didn’t expect was that after they checked in, the facilitator wrote the name of the child on a sticker, stuck it on their shirt, and then said, “Okay, now go play and wave bye-bye to mommy!” 😨😨😧😳 What the F?!?! I thought the intention of the Journey to Kindergarten was to gently and gracefully GUIDE the kids to kindergarten! I thought they would have had some activities where the parents and children would be together first before they did the separation! Why the heck did they do the drop-off and separation like this so abruptly and suddenly without any transition at all?!!
I didn’t even have to say anything to my 3 year old when she suddenly grasped and clutched my right arm and said, “I don’t want to be here. I want to leave.” Smart child. She figured out exactly what was happening by watching the people ahead of us. I didn’t have to tell her a single thing. She KNEW that she was going to have to separate from me and be left in the room to play. Holy s. I reassured her that I was right there with her and that she didn’t have to be alone, but she started to cry anyway. I scanned the QR code to check in and then took her to the side where we watched the other parents come in and check in and then leave. The 3 year old continued crying on and off because she didn’t want me to leave. There were 3 facilitators in the room and they were urging the parents to leave and go to the other room where they were starting the parents’ program.
The facilitator told me that I had to leave too, but I said this was my child’s first time separating from me and that she needed some time. The facilitator told me that she had been doing this for 10 years and this is what they always do. She told me the child will cry on the first day, cry less on the second day, and then eventually be okay.
I told the facilitator that it will be hard for us to come back next week because now she knows what is happening. She won’t want to get in the car or even walk in the school. The facilitator said we have to do it.
I asked my 3 year old if there was anything she wanted to play with in the classroom and she said she didn’t want to play with anything. The other kids around us were playing with various toys in the classroom already. Most of them were adjusted fine and didn’t have a problem with their parent leaving them.
There was one boy though who figured out what was happening as well and was clinging on to his mom. Eventually, the mom made it out the door and the facilitators closed the door. The boy was screaming and crying. One other parent was just making it out the door and when the door was slightly ajar, the boy R A N outside to find his mom. The facilitators had to chase after him and bring him back. The facilitator had to physically hold him from leaving again. It was really traumatic and hard to watch… The facilitator sat down in an armchair in front of the door and made some silly sounds and arm gestures to distract the boy, but he was screaming nonstop and really loudly too…
The facilitator kept urging me to leave. By this point, I was the only parent left in the room. I didn’t know what to do. I mean I didn’t anticipate the drop-off to be like this AT ALL. What’s the point of joining this Journey to Kindergarten program if they don’t gently teach the kids or have a gentle strategy for them to separate from the parents? I might as well be signing her up for daycare then or just doing kindergarten cold turkey like this too.
One of the other parents didn’t even know that they were supposed to leave their kid actually…
I realized I didn’t have a choice. So when the facilitator came to me again, I told her, “You have to hold her then.” And she did. She took my 3 year old in her arms and then I quickly took my coat and bag and exited the classroom. I know she was crying… but what was I to do?
I found the other classroom where the other parents were at and everyone was seated and facing the chalkboard where they had a powerpoint presentation going. I was the last parent to enter the room and it was a bit awkward because I clearly needed a seat but no one moved out of the way to let me cross to sit down. I had to tell them to “excuse me” to get myself a chair…
As I was a latecomer, I missed the first part of the presentation and then they went into the part where they went around the room for the parent to introduce themselves. We said our names, our children’s names, ages, and what we were hoping to get out of the program. I said my name, my children’s ages, and said that it was my daughter’s first time being separated from me and that “hopefully she’ll be okay”. The facilitator said, “I’m sure she’ll be fine.” 🙄
(The facilitator did tell me that if the child was not adjusting well that they would find me.)
We went through the powerpoint presentation which was about play-based learning — what kindergarten is about these days. They had the parents engage in an activity where we used the materials on the table to build anything we wanted, but as a team. They had wood logs, red, orange, and yellow tissue paper, and electric candles on the table. Clearly, the intention was to build a fireplace of some kind lol. I worked with the other parents and one parent suggested we build a log house. Great idea and more unique than I expected! The other group of parents built a fireplace.
So looking back at my texts to DH, I had dropped my child off at around 9:23 a.m. and at about 9:55 a.m. (so half an hour) is when the facilitator appeared at the door holding my child’s hand. Lol… I was not surprised at all that she “didn’t make it”. I mean how can you expect a child who is dropped off like that to be okay considering she’s never been alone with strangers her whole life? I mean it wasn’t like I was happy that she “failed” but I don’t think this strategy works. It’s damaging and traumatizing.
The facilitator brought her to me at my seat and told me “she had been crying for a while”. Poor girl looked shaken but at least was calm and wasn’t crying anymore. She sat in my lap the rest of the time listening to the presentation with me.
When the facilitator came over to hand out handouts, she asked if the 3 year old wanted to eat anything (they had prepared strawberries, pastries, and water for the adults). The 3 year old didn’t want anything.
We left the room briefly when she sneezed and needed a tissue and then again to wash her hands. She needed me to carry her to and from the washroom. She finally did eat and tried one of the muffins.
When the session ended, the EarlyON supervisor came over to see how everyone was doing — the same one that diverted from answering my questions last week. I don’t know why she had to make a note to mention to me twice that she came over from the main site (despite it being busy) just to see the children here.
The parents were allowed to return to the classroom to collect their children at around 10:45 a.m. They had a short circle time there. The facilitator singing the songs urged the mommies to “participate too”. What the heck is with their controlling behaviour? Usually parents will participate if they want to. And they don’t want to, don’t force them.
The facilitators came up to me to talk to me. I told them that it was my child’s first time being left alone and she will need TIME to adjust but more importantly, I didn’t know how she was going to want to agree to come back next week. They basically pinned it on me and said that I should leave her alone with grandparents or a friend’s house or a relative’s house for her to get used to being away from me. Um, excuse me? That’s what I thought this Journey to Kindergarten program was about. If I can get my child to be alone from me by practising it elsewhere, why should I even attend the program then?
The facilitator saw me carrying the child and also told me to let her stand by herself. Um, what? My child has just been crying for who knows how long and now she can’t be held by her mom? What’s wrong with these people?! I know that I could potentially be spoiling her, but if she is upset and needs comfort, why can’t I hold her for just a little bit?!
The facilitator also told me that during the separation period, she had passed by the room for a bit and saw that my 3 year old was okay and not crying but just sitting by herself and not playing with anything. I was surprised and said “Then she could have stayed in the room then if she was fine”. But I guess it wasn’t normal for her to just sit there alone like that and that’s why they eventually brought her to me.
Something helpful they did mention was that to tell her that I was learning in the classroom and that’s why she needed to be with the other kids in the room. That is one thing I will try. Finally something useful.
The facilitator wanted to take a photo of the child, but she didn’t want to. At the end before everyone left, they took photos of the families individually which the 3 year old was okay with.
Also before I left, the facilitator reminded me to label my child’s belongings. Um, I already did! I was one of the few parents who actually read the e-mail and labelled the child’s things, I guess, and I took offence to her comment because instead of “telling me to do it,” she should have asked first before assuming. You can tell that I really don’t like certain facilitators and how they run things or say things that trigger me. The personalities of the 3 facilitators at this program do not jive with my child either. They aren’t very nurturing or kind. They are more of the pushy type. You can be firm while being kind, but they didn’t display those attributes here.
Thankfully, the child was back to normal and fine when we left the school and back in the car. She ate from her lunch box the snacks that we had packed for her. She was singing again on the way home so I was glad she wasn’t impacted by the experience.
The 14 month old had a fever in the morning (which receded by giving her tylenol) and it was supposed to be her 15 month checkup appointment. We went to the doctor’s anyway and got her checked out because the receptionist advised us to go instead of rescheduling her appointment. The doctor said her throat looks a bit red and it seems to be just a cold. She was crying nonstop with the doctor in the room though. This child remembers the doctor and doesn’t like the appointments lol.
We let the 3 year old rest and play to her heart’s content for the afternoon. Then we ate an early dinner at 4:30 p.m. because the second Journey to Kindergarten program in Aurora was from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. that evening and DH was going to take her.
I was anxious about it for her and eagerly waiting for DH to give me updates. And what do you know? They do the Journey to Kindergarten program completely differently in Aurora! There were only 4 kids there (and 4 parents) including ours and they didn’t force the kids to separate from the parents at all! They had a classroom where the parents listened to the presentation but kept the door open! They let the kids play freely in the other open concept room and the kids were welcome to visit the parents and the parents visited the kids too during the session. What the heck?! Why is it so different at the Aurora location in comparison to the Markham one? Why is the Markham one so anal too? The Aurora one never asked us to pack a snack or clothes for the kids for the Journey to Kindergarten program.
The 3 year old sat with DH for the duration of the session and DH said she was curious and peeked at the kids playing but didn’t go join them herself. He said it was a really calm experience. He also said that the facilitators said they don’t do the “harsh” drop-off experience and to console kids if they are crying. Wow, this is the way it SHOULD BE. By keeping it calm and cheerful, the child will eventually want to go to the classroom to play because she will find the presentation for adults boring. It makes more sense this way!
She came home from the session happy and content. She had a big smile on her face right after the session too (DH took a picture) where she was wearing the lunch bag too. Such a huge difference.
She is signed up for the Thornhill location of the Journey to Kindergarten program later this week. I am curious to see how they do it at that location.
Yes, call me an “eager beaver” mom for signing my daughter up to 3 locations of Journey to Kindergarten but as you can read from my posts, she does need this practice and it’s not like there is any restriction on how many programs you can sign up your child for. I hope through the programs, she will find it comfortable and learn to separate from me/DH in an enjoyable and natural way.
The 14 month old loves to walk around after dinner time and is not afraid of walking away from us to explore the restaurant.
The 3 year old really needs her play space reset almost every time so that her mat is clear for her to continue building again.
The 3 year old is really particular about certain things. For example, her hands were dirty from eating an almond cookie at the restaurant and she wanted her hands cleaned first using a wet wipe before going to the washroom to wash her hands. And in particular, she wanted the wet wipe that she had saw in my bag and not the one that the restaurant had previously given out. And instead of me opening it for her, she wanted DH to open the package. But she had to be the one to unfold the wet wipe. When DH unfolded one part of it, she had to refold it back in order to unfold herself. And only then was she satisfied and then willing to have her hands be washed. Is this normal? Do other kids do this? Are they this particular about the things they do?!
When I brought back 4 different flavours of Greek yogurt from Flashfood, the 3 year old identified 2 that we had tried before and 2 that we didn’t try. She has an amazing memory.
And I can’t believe that I have a 3.5 year old now and a 15 month old! Another half year and the oldest one will be turning 4 years old!
Also, this week, we realize that the 14 month old really understands us when we speak to her. When it was time for her to have her diaper be changed, grandma told her to go to the play mat and lay down. And she immediately went to do it! She knew she was going to have her diaper be changed. She can follow simple instructions! Yay!
Sometimes, she confuses “ma ma” and “ba ba” or “ba ba” and “jei jei”. She still doesn’t know how to say “por por” yet. It’s funny when she calls DH “jei jei”.
She also has been continuing to say “hehh” or grunt or some other one-syllable sounds. She doesn’t babble all that much or often otherwise. But she knows to point and to gesture us to do certain things. Her favourite snack this week is the mushroom crisps from Costco. She likes to suck on it until the seasoning is gone and have it hang around in her mouth. She had four or five bits in her mouth at one time because I thought she had finished swallowing it. She’s like a chipmunk hiding her food in her mouth lol.
She likes to open the cabinets and find snacks. She also likes the Shreddies cereal and will gesture me to open the bag for her. She likes crackers as well.