22 months, 1 week – A week of refusals

Toddler pushing a kid-sized grocery cart

First time pushing her own grocery cart

22 months, 1 week old: 

  • July 25:  Bb skipped her nap yesterday.  We had had lunch at a restaurant and planned to go to the Pride of Carousal in Downtown Markham after lunch, but she had other plans.  She wouldn’t go into her car seat no matter how many times we tried.  We ended up walking to the local community centre just a block away and she played in the Play Place (newly re-opened at McDonald’s) and had some ice cream.  It was 3 p.m. and way past her naptime.  She ended up skipping it.  Her signs of tiredness were falling down after dinner time/losing her balance.  She slept at 9 p.m.-ish, earlier than her recent 10 p.m. bedtime.
  • She refuses to go back home after a visit to the local park these days.
  • Grandma got her a pail and sand toys for $2 at the Dollarama.  Bb loves playing in the sand with them but refuses to leave the park every time.
  • July 26:  The refusal to do anything we ask of her continues.  A few times this week, she’s refused to get into the car seat for us to drive home.  Luckily we weren’t in a rush to go anywhere.  We had to acquiesce by taking her back out of the car seat (not that she was sitting in it anyway because she arched her back and kicked and cried) and walk around the plaza or park for a while.  And even then, she still refused a second time to sit in her car seat.  DH had to physically hold her down to gently “shove” her inside.  She didn’t fight as hard the second time, but it was still mentally and physically tiring for the adults.  It’s hard to take her anywhere if she refuses to get into the vehicle for going home.
  • She pushed around the “Customer in Training” small cart at the T&T supermarket for the first time, but it seemed a bit heavy for her.
  • The biggest refusal this week was on July 27 when DH was at work and bb refused to put on her clothes for half of the day.  She had wet her inner onesie upon waking up so we took it off, but then bb refused completely to put on any tops or pants!  Thank goodness she had her diaper on though.  She completely refused.  We would put her top through her head but she yanked it off before we could put any of her arms through.  She also took joy in throwing the shirt dramatically on the floor too.  Nothing worked and she was a naked toddler walking around…
  • Thank goodness it still a warm day so I just let her stay in her room (she also woke up unusually early at 7 a.m.).  We tried one more time and even video chatted with DH but she still wouldn’t put on her clothes.  I let her cool off in her room and she eventually fell asleep from all the crying and fighting (naked with a diaper) lol..  Oh well, in these cases, what can you even do as a parent? 🤷‍♀️
  • Grandma woke her up around 1 p.m. but bb still refused to wear anything.  I suggested that she take a bath to warm up and play in the water a bit.  After the bath, she resumed her usual routine of toweling off and wearing clothes so FINALLY she was clothed!  What a struggle lol.
  • While on our daily walks, DH and I were pondering why she was suddenly refusing all these things… (She actually refused coming out with us for that walk too, so we left her at home with grandma — I need my daily exercise).  We were thinking maybe it’s a phase or stage she’s going through.  She’s learning to say no and no more often..  But this came up so suddenly and right after a routine change…  We finally came up with a theory that due to me disappearing for 8 days last week due to quarantining, bb missed me — as in she missed being parented by a particular person.  I’m so laissez-faire with her and read the most books to her that she didn’t get any of that when I was in quarantine.  Grandma’s style of parenting is more strict and disciplinary and “listen and follow me” and involves some fear-based parenting too.  Since DH was at work during the day and bb was under grandma’s care, she probably had to give up a lot of freedom and choices to do things that she usually would have under my care.  Less choices meant she was acting out, and she was acting out by refusing all those things she had an active role in (not wanting to sit in the high chair, not wanting to get in the car seat, not wanting to put on clothes, etc.)
  • Our solution was that I have to be way more involved again like I was before so that bb feels comforted and like she has a voice again.  Fascinating how a week of mom’s disappearance led to a big behavioural change in the baby.
  • Bb liked sitting on the adult chairs at the dinner table rather than in her high chair.  She feels like an adult that way.
  • This week was also the first time that bb went to Walmart with us.  She was able to sit in the shopping cart just like one of the babies in one of her books.  She was so excited.  When we let her out of the seat and she roamed around, she squealed with excitement even more that she could touch and see all the grocery items lol.  It was so cute
  • We were at Hillcrest Mall and went into Marshall’s to check some things out.  Bb was attracted to the baby board books and asked me to read one to her.  She asked “cho hei been?” (where to sit?) because she’s used to reading books while sitting at home.  So glad she is growing up to love books and recognizes them even while at a store.  I simply squatted and let her lean next to me as I read the book to her.
  • She’s been great at chewing things and taking small bites (bread with jam at breakfast time, taking bites out of the freshly picked strawberries from our garden).  She can finish an entire strawberry and leave the stem out.

About stenoodie

I'm a stenographer, foodie, avid traveller, and new mom who loves to share her experiences with the world.
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